Lowzeewee's blog

beginning of the end

2011-11-04T17:47:00.002+08:00

9 months ago, I was one week away from officially completing my conscription requirement. By then, mostly due to all the time spent out of camp, making the most of my hard-earned off-days and leave, I was already in a pretty jovial state of mind, like the return of my identity card was a mere formality. Indeed, it felt like it was. Heck, IT WAS

now, I am two weeks away from the start of examinations at the end of my first semester in university. I am wholly underprepared for exams, yet also entirely prepared to be overwhelmed

hopefully I can get something decent done with the 100 straight hours to be spent at home. oh wait, over 7 and a 1/2 of it is gone already

Dream Team XI

2011-10-24T20:44:00.002+08:00

Since I began watching football from the 2002 World Cup onwards, I've seen many great footballers rise, hit their peak and fall. Some reach the end of that cycle faster than others, while some sustain at a certain point longer than others.

It is hard to justify one player as being better than another, especially when they play for different teams and with different players around them. Who is to decide that the stand-out player in a largely unspectacular club is inferior to that of a superstar in a star-studded team ?

Ultimately, one will just have to use his own judgment and maybe even bias to settle upon who is the best player in a particular position. After a long period of staring at words on paper, I decided to take a break, and also take the opportunity to brush up on my rusty literary ability.

Henceforth, my all-time XI emerged : a 3-4-1-2 rather than a typical 4-4-2, to accomodate the players. I must have watched the player more than once before, before inclusion here

GK : Oliver Kahn

CB: Lucio
CB: Nesta
CB: Maldini

CM : Gattuso
CM : Van Bommel
CM : Pirlo
CM : Xavi

CF : Kanu

ST : Luiz Ronaldo
ST : Messi

only happy when it rains

2011-10-08T02:39:00.001+08:00

when it rains, it poursfor as long as I can remember, or rather, for as long as I have been cynical and aware of the evil world around me, I have always wanted to be average, anonymous and anything but outstanding; in all sense of the word. not that I want to be a hopeless bottom-scrapper either. it is thus, ironic that I always find myself on the extreme ends of the spectrum I want to duck under, in the middle of. most of the time, I get the shit end of the stickmy subconscious attempts to achieve the above have traditionally ended in epic failure, and once again, I find myself at that troubling stage in my emotional and mental being, where its a struggle just to decide where to go from here. after a positive start and a somewhat lively opening 6 weeks, I went through a one-week break where I couldn't decide what to do, and ended up just sailing along to prior commitments and mucking the rest of each day awayreturning to varsity this week, I was delivered three consecutive knockdowns. like in boxing. I am now defeated but its not that I can't get up on my two feet. if boxing rules are like expectations from within and without, then I've failed accordingly. it doesn't help that just hours ago, I returned to a home where word of the week's disappointments produced worry rather than sympathy, and it seemed as though I am affecting those who have faith in me, more than I am affecting my very selfwhere do I go from here ?

when snow blows off the grass

2011-10-02T20:24:00.002+08:00

we all want to be somebody. nobody wants to grow up

a week is over. recess week. a week of rest. a week of catching up which I should have but did not do. living it up, treating a break the way it should be treated !

this blog should be killed off

in da house

2011-09-18T13:51:00.002+08:00

yes yes y'all
the man is back in da house
busting rhymes, like old times
rock the mic, rock rock the mic yea

most of the time, I just don't know what I am doing. committing myself to more things than my plate can hold, resulting in perfectly-good food dropping unceremoniously to the ground. food that could have been eaten by someone else who needed or wanted it. wasted. just like that. it troubles me a great deal, irritating me from the inside out. making me fear future repetitions of the scenario

I am not exactly living life to the fullest now, but its the fullest I've been for almost half a decade. I don't want to give it up now. I want it to continue for as long as possible. sacrifices will have to be made, given that I am not the kind of human being capable of performing a 21st-century balancing act. but how much am I willing to sacrifice ? how much CAN I sacrifice ?

on a side note, Billy is gone again. Lawlz

my personality wardrobe

2011-09-09T13:33:00.003+08:00

6 weeks of school. close to midway through the semester. settled 20% of a single module on Monday, equivalent to 0.6 academic units or 1.0 of my score for that module

one quarter of that 20% is graded upon a collage. yes, a collage. no, I am not in Art, Design and Media. neither did I take an elective from there. uh huh, I am serious

an A4-sized paper with pictures stuck all over it is worth 0.15 academic units, and 0.25 of my score for that module. I am expecting to get 2/5 for the collage. getting 3/5 would give me an additional 0.05, which could well be rounded up to 0.1, and end up making a great grade difference

4.5 + 0.05 = 4.55 ~ 4.6, Dean's List

alternatively, if I end up getting 1/5 instead, it could result in stuff like this

2.95 - 0.05 = 2.90 ~ Bin's list

awesomeness

2011-08-21T19:07:00.003+08:00

August has been a pretty awesome month by the lowly standards of my miserably boring life. Despite having to conjure up a "high level" thousand-word essay in exactly two weeks' time, I am at complete ease as I type up my first blog entry in a rather long while. Yes, this is that blog entry

I like months that begin with a monday, because it is easier to keep count of which day of the week it is. The first week of this month was spent at hall orientation camp, which pretty much tested the boundaries of my endurance, though after going through 30SCE Alpha, I have to say it fell way short of even pushing the limits. No mud, misery or moonlight to endure for days on end without hygienic practices getting in our way

The second week was a week without tutorials, so it was a two-day week. National day too, but who cares. JASH

The week that just flew by was kinda relaxed, though it seemed like its just me being more chillax than I should be, and not realizing how awfully stressful and tiresome school really is. Whatever. Steamboat. Hall bash

The stock market is drowning in a sea of red, Arsenal is drowning in cash generated from the sale of their only decent players, Bayern is drowning out their early opposition with Robbery and Co. doing their thang. Time to plan how to sweep away all competitors with my thousand-word essay ->

testing

2011-07-04T13:35:00.000+08:00

testing if FB receives

songwriting

2011-06-24T00:24:00.000+08:00

Background : I was sober, free of alcohol and any form of drugs be they recreational or medicational, when I wrote this song. Yes, I know most songwriters enter new dimensions of imagination and creativity after snorting coke or getting drunk or both at the same time. However, I am Singaporean. No such thing here. Sad life lah.

Influences : Like most artistes that like to appear hip, hop or simply cool, I would have liked to cite the likes of Queen, Pink Floyd or Prince as influences, but I shall be frank here. The musical style I have in mind for this song is that of Pomplamoose and Inch Chua. Quirky but fun. A little one-dimensional, but teeny-bopper material. Oh wait, wrong way of putting it. That would have meant Justin Bieber.

Here goes...
(btw three dots symbolize monotonous guitar strumming for like 2.5-3 seconds)
(Imagine some girl sitting in front of a webcam in her room, strumming guitar with a smirk on her face, singing along)

Monday morning... the morning after...
a night of laughter... pain and anguish...
They just had to park a bus
Right there in front of us
As we watched the shot sail clear
No luck today as Van Persie blasts away
Same shit different day...

Out of play... The referee says...
The people all clap... Here comes Rory Delap...
He steps a mile back, there's a panic attack
And the ball just sails right in
The keeper flaps at air
And we're just grabbin' our hair
Same shit different day

Water bottle... Wenger grabs it...
Not to drink it... But to smash it...
Nike would be proud, but its dis-al-lowed
Off to the stands he goes
He bites at his nail
As he downs another fail
Same shit different day

Fail. Memories.

2011-06-05T00:27:00.003+08:00

For the most part of Friday, I was with a friend whom I am usually not alone with longer than the time we spend on the train ride shared on the way home from group gatherings. We don't have much in common, save for the family of schools we went to, even then not having been in the same school for a single day. Yet we will never run out of things to talk about

Odd as it may have seemed at the start of the day, we had a H2H talk - more like long, drawn-out discussion - that I believe led to us understanding each other's reasoning, perception and behavior better. Obviously I will not reveal what was said, but I have been reflecting on what I felt had been troubling me every now and then over the past few years

I noted that some odd memories always stick out in my mind, as much as I try to forget them...

Will always remember a bizarre yet amusing(in hindsight) online conversation with an acquaintance 4 years ago. We had just gotten home after a night in town sending someone off to study overseas(or a birthday, I can't quite remember). This person is someone I didn't communicate with much because we just could not "click". Out of the blue, the acquaintance kicked off an online conversation by asking me for help with a Maths question. Okay sure no problem, I thought, so I went to dig through my papers from school to find the question. Couldn't find it. Must have been a mistake on the part of that person. Pointed it out to him. Oh, it's a mistake, sorry ! Alright, so end of story, goodnight, back to whatever I was doing. No, the acquaintance suddenly revived the conversation and even changed topic. This is where it got sticky. Why did you seem to not want to talk to me just now during the dinner ? Do you not like me ? Did I do something wrong to you ? At that point in time, it just baffled me and to be honest, I didn't really know how to respond without being cynical and/or sarcastic, so I did not. As a matter of fact, I have/had nothing against him. He got the drift. End of story, I hoped. No more surprises, pleaaaaaase. Is something troubling you ? Are you having problems fitting in ? I will pray for you. God will help you. Jesus too. Wow, okay, now I was really stunned

Thinking back, I am not sure if I should feel pissed at what that person did, or rather, the way he did it. If you want to tell me something, tell me straight to my face, or at least tell me directly la. What's with the bush-beating and sidestepping, for Christ's sake(haha, pun intended)... Fail

come on, turn up the sun

2011-06-01T17:09:00.001+08:00

- I was told that wearing exercise attire will motivate you to actually go and exercise. Doesn't work on me

- My work contract was up yesterday, and even as I type this, several emails have already been sent out to scour for new ones. Not that I am actually enthusiastic about getting another job. Just keeping my options open, that's all

- There's two full months before the start of varsity. No idea how I am going to spend it, apart from the time spent doing what I do when I have nothing to do

- Billy is still incommunicado and untraceable. It's as though he's been wound back 40 years in time. Hey, even my parents wrote home back then. What the heck. CR and HW will be enlisting soon.

consistent imperfection

2011-05-14T20:23:00.003+08:00

For over 80% of my life, I was not a listener of Oasis.

For the first 50% of time since knowing of their existence, I assumed they sucked.

A few years ago, I was in a record store browsing for new sounds, when I suddenly decided to buy an Oasis compilation album. You could say 'Get a damned Oasis album' just popped into my head. From then on, I started exploring their entire discography. Whenever I get hooked on a particular musician or band, I will get hold of as many of their songs as possible - hit singles, album fillers, B-sides, what have you.

Apart from 'Wonderwall' to which they are synonymous, Oasis actually had a large collection of quality songs from their first two albums. Their subsequent efforts were decent, but did not stand the test of time the way their first two did. I was pleasantly satisfied with their third album 'Be Here Now', but after several thorough listens, I noted its over-production which I understand led to its critical demise. Too many layers of sound competing for your two ears.

However, as much as it sounds bloated and noisy, the guitar-spam still makes for good listening when you are just looking for something to unwind to(sorry, I ain't into classical). Or when you are tired and angsty and simply can't be bothered to process sophisticated arrangements and deep lyrics.

Their reputation carried them into the 21st century, where they experienced some sort of mini-revival before crashing back down to where they rightly belonged. Again, songs that are good for a few spins, but afterwards hard to resist being skipped with thumb on fast-forward.

By the time I started following them, they were about two years away from their much-vaunted dissolution. After breaking up, three of them formed their own group, which is basically Oasis minus their principal songwriter(brains) and might I say, their better singer in Noel Gallagher.

Noel hasn't done very much since then, but I have been checking out his solo performances prior to and following the breakup, and am quite impressed. The breakway group Beady Eye doesn't sound very bad, but I think it can't compare to its predecessor(awkward choice of word, I know =P)

Oasis - A good band that was never really destined for greatness, but did produce some great stuff early on, and occasionally a little more along the way.

The stuff of legends

2011-03-22T14:10:00.002+08:00

Football is a 90-minute game, a sport with time limits, much like all others barring the likes of golf and cricket. It is also an obsession of a lifetime to those who appreciate it - A positive, healthy one. I have many dreams. Some big, some small. Some common, some absurd. One of them is to catch my sporting heroes in person, to see with my own eyes what captivates me to their each and every action. I decided to do it on the 12th of March.

Planning for the day-out to the English city of Portsmouth started months prior to the 90 minutes I paid 17 pounds for, and match tickets were purchased three weeks before. The trip itself absorbed over 10 hours of a precious day of holiday in England. A Saturday too(how insensitive of me to not consider the shopaholics!)

The appearance of Kanu in the 70th minute at home to Boro ensured I got more than a minute per pound paid. Haha... kudos to both keepers for keeping clean sheets though !

On the way down to the south coast by train(1h 30m !), I had all sorts of marvellous ideas on how the game might turn out, but alas, they were not to be. For goodness' sake, a goalless draw is the nightmare of football fans the world over(even in Italy), and as luck had it, I lived out the nightmare. Nevertheless, I managed to watch Kanu play. As he winds down his career(along with many other ageing stars), the opportunity to watch him will soon disappear forever, so I am thankful to have grabbed it while I could.

A true legend on and off the pitch, in action !

Typical Singaporean

2011-02-24T15:29:00.003+08:00

In application for something with high demand and limited vacancy, the panel of judges or selection committee (whichever high-strung, classy-arse name they prefer) often resort to the age-old filter of putting forth a simple question to which applicants will be forced to come up with an essay of sorts.

What makes you more deserving of this than other applicants ?

The question is usually followed by a disclaimer which states the minimum and/or maximum number of words permitted in the response prose. Whatever is the case, the vast majority of applicants will be thinking to themselves, "Damn, shit, omg, wtf" or whatever suits their fancy. Whatever they may be thinking or cursing, a period of silent nothingness naturally follows. They don't want to sound cliche. They don't want to sound too egoistic. Or maybe even, they don't want to put down other people's achievements by trampling over them with their personal boasts.

A typical Singaporean student when applying for an overseas exchange or a scholarship, will struggle with himself for hours or even days on end, before finally deciding that cliche is king. Cheesy, corny, crappy, you name it. It's the bane of the people reading it, especially when the applicant's grades aren't a cut above the rest... The best part of such essays are usually the introduction, because they try(keyword : try) to make a Steven Spielberg kind of opening, before succumbing to Channel 5 predictability...

(example)
Critics often say that the country I live in is a rigid little island where money talks and academics are overemphasized. It is entirely true that Singapore is small in geographical size, money is a key factor in life and partially true that grades are over-prioritized.

However, I believe that actions speak louder than words, which is why I feel I deserve the Tan Ah Kow scholarship more than other applicants. While everyone vying for the few places on offer have near-perfect or even perfect grades, what differentiates me from the rest is the fact that I have been through more in life than most of my peers, I dare say.

As a member of the XJC student council, I was in charge of logistics and planning for the ABC carnival and the XYZ career fair, while juggling my studies at the same time. As secretary of the XJC Football team, I handled the public-speaking tasks for the team whenever called upon, and played every match as the school reached the Round-of-16 of the National 'A' Division championships.

Last year, I also participated in the overseas community involvement programme to Mumbai, India, where I gained valuable insights through first-hand experience building sanitary facilities for a poor village. Seeing how the people find joys in basic things in life, despite living in adject poverty, touched my heart dearly and I returned to Singapore with a different perspective in life.

Therefore, I believe that I will be a deserving recipient of the Tan Ah Kow scholarship because I have seen more of the world than other applicants, and I will be able to do more with the scholarship because I can better appreciate the value of it.

- Jessie Jezabel Foong Xiao Mei

I mean seriously, are they retarded or are they retarded ? You decide.

focus, focus, focus !

2011-02-20T19:58:00.002+08:00

Many a times, I make mistakes. Yes. Mistakes. I know that everyone makes them, but I just can't take my mind off them when I do. Saying not-so-nice things to people I care about when I really should have been appreciative or just responding normally, losing my focus when working on something... Sometimes, it just frustrates me to a point where I really feel like throwing everything away and giving up.

This is madness. >:(

April 13 2009 - February 11 2011

2011-02-12T15:35:00.002+08:00

If you were to ask me what I did in BMT, I would struggle for details. The 9 weeks on a god-forsaken island are but a blur in my memory today, and will eventually be swept away. BMT wasn't the best phase of my NSF life, because I felt it was overdone and blatantly orchestrated

Setting foot in Jurong Camp on June 22 2009, I felt like I was in for a long, arduous time. Indeed, I was. Life in my weekday home of 20 months started off with physical and mental torture on an unimaginable scale. Back then, the boundaries of our imagination never reached such sadistic extent before

The first four months basically comprised of NDP funpacking as well as ridiculous and senseless practices, like having to MARCH to company line from the invisible divide in Jurong Camp(separating 30SCE from the rest of the camp and the world at large), even if you were booking in on your own. Of course, there would be some idiotic sergeants who would hide along the path spotting those who didn't march, and punish them duly

After that, it got slightly better when we were finally given human rights, such as use of the vending machine as well as not having to scream out some scripted line before entering the office. Personnel came and went, and our numbers dwindled

When the first batch of commanders left and two new batches took over in March last year, life finally took a turn in the right direction. The positive movement never left first gear, but nonetheless, kept plodding on. Better late than never, better something than nothing. The respect we showed to our superiors was finally reciprocated, especially on the lower(3SG) levels. No more demeaning physical punishments for minor offences that were a sad result of nitpicking

As our service drew to a close, we quitely appreciated the camaraderie developed through tough training and treatment endured together. Approaching the end of 2010, we finally got the rest period we all worked so hard for. Not all of it as promised, but sufficient. Okay, I am speaking for myself here ! =P

Parting with goodbyes amidst thoughtful reminiscence and awkward silence, we go our own ways and leave behind a beaten path of lows punctuated by the rare 'up'. Doubt we picked up any practical skills from this time, but am confident we have all grown in character. Afterall, if you can survive 30SCE Alpha, you can survive anything !

Do what must be done, and show appreciation as much as you can. Everyone needs a smile or a compliment to brighten their day and give meaning to what they are doing. So why not be the one to provide it ?

so I'll whisper in the dark

2011-01-29T01:45:00.003+08:00

The first month of 2011 has zoomed past me like players running at Nesta. Comprehending what just happenened in the time that separated past from present, I start getting the old feelings of hopelessness and nothingness. But then again, just like Nesta, I know I can save the day by putting in a tackle where it really matters, in the nick of time

Life since 6th Jan has been refreshing, to say the least. I've spent just 6 days out of a possible 22 doing things that I DO NOT want to do, compared to the average hit rate of 5 out of 7

When it comes to planning, I am ultra-meticulous to the point of frustrating those involved in my plans, but now I am faced with 5+ months ahead that are beyond my control for the most part. Though camp life is a drain on me mentally and sometimes physically, it somewhat shelters me from the harsh reality of the world outside the green bubble. No need to source for an income. No need to find my own meals. Apart from having to deal with the occasional nuisance or asshole in my path, life has honestly been simple on weekdays

Now I have to find employment of some sort once I am "released" from service. The search is only four days old, but it has been futile. The first response I received and followed up was an utter waste of my time, and it left me feeling slighted. The second and most recent leaves me with nothing more than a big question mark to unscramble. I prefer realism to optimism, but right now, I rather stick to the latter for the sake of comfort

Jobs aside, at least I have something to look forward to in two months' time. Something I have been dreaming of ever since I was in Primary 6 - Seeing my personal hero in action doing what he does best

However, there is also something I absolutely DO NOT look forward to - One of my bestest friends(known him since my first day of school) is leaving the country, and though I am happy for him, I can't help but feel depressed at the prospect of being without him. Okay, he'll be back every once in a while and eventually back for good, but still... Damn, this sounds so bloody gay !

no title

2011-01-17T21:32:00.003+08:00

made to last

2011-01-06T23:50:00.003+08:00

January is going to be a very relaxing month for me. After wrapping up the last guard duty of my life, I booked out shortly after for most probably the last time this month. There's gonna be a bit of errand-running here and there in preparation for the end of my service, but that won't involve any touching of uniform. What I've earned has finally been released into my possession

I've got the sudden urge to put pen to paper on a little fiction of sorts. Shall start now

tock-staking

2011-01-01T00:44:00.005+08:00

I enter 2011 with a ripped blister on my left palm, listening to a song from 16 years ago. Now that 2010 is well and truly over, I can finally deliver my damning verdict on what could, should and would have been

The previous post was dedicated to conscription, which took up well over 200 days in 2010. It is so vile an experience that it must be isolated in a blog entry of its own, which of course is the entry before this. Now I shall move on to relatively happier aspects of my past 365 days

My wardrobe and Lego collection vastly expanded, due to my having acquired a Visa card and a penchant for the seductive world of online shopping. The downside is that my bank balance progressed much slower than usual as a result

BIAB has now become a staple of my life, and I am proud to say that I really enjoy myself at every Sunday session despite the sweat, heat and toil. It's just the joy of knowing that my time and action actually helps someone elsewhere. Think of it as a positive butterfly effect, haha

One problem with myself is that I don't show appreciation enough. I have never been good at expressing gratitude because I hate awkwardness, but now it's time to put aside all fears and be BLUNT for a good reason. For a start, let me thank the people in my life who salvaged the wreck that was 2010

- Billy : You want to unload a drum magazine of poisoned shotgun shells point-blank at me. I understand. I tease you merciless. I never ever mean it. It's all in the name of fun. It's hard to find someone as reliable, good-natured and responsible as you, and I truly appreciate you for who you are. You may not be having the best of times now, but believe me, you will experience them soon enough - you deserve it

- Raghu : True legend. Much-maligned, down-and-out midfielder whose best days are purportedly well behind him. Sometimes I can't help but draw parallels between our lives. We get screwed on an almost daily basis, yet we overcome adversity in our own ways. When you share your thoughts with me, it encourages me in that I know I am not alone in my struggle :)

- Dean, CR, HW, JemZhu : Thanks for always being there (omg cliche), and not complaining(at least, not often) at how repetitive and mundane our outings are

- Daryl and Kyne : For the times we spent together, even if they were far and few between

- Lynn : Without you, I wouldn't have known what SMU was like on the inside. Literally :D

- Camp mates : Y'all know who you are. Shall not name/tag anyone here in case people omitted kill me within the next 6 weeks. Thanks for providing relief in dark times

- Hui Shian : For organizing the SA3 gathering. My presence may not have meant much, and only 8 people(the usual) turned up, but the fact remains that you made an effort to evoke whatever class spirit's left in us all :)

- Emily and the BIAB crew : For all the Sundays we spend happily surrounding ourselves with things that people deem trash.

- Amirah and Zixin : For joining me in the KDF Amazing Race, and always replying so promptly to my emails and queries

- My family : They are not going to be reading this, but I really couldn't have done without them. Though they may not grasp the gravity of what I go through, their encouragement is sincere. That alone carried me through the many trials and tribulations

stock-taking

2010-12-27T21:42:00.002+08:00

With 2010 drawing to a close, I can say with my usual brutal honesty that this is indeed the worst year I've been through. In the sense that it is a year my mind will never ever want to recollect anytime soon, and that I am glad I have reached the end of it

I intend to touch on several aspects of the year, but in order to avoid cross-contamination and dampening of mood, I shall put the shittiest part down first - Army. hohoho

Starting the year in Bangkok, Thailand, I returned to camp life soon after. Training intensity was peaking, and I barely survived the zenith of militaristic idiocy when it faced me just before the Chinese New Year. Just when I thought weekday life would get better, reality dealt me an uppercut when I had my defenses down. Standby duties and its associated hassles bogged us down like never before. Inspection after inspection, one briefing followed by another. If I had any previous thoughts on what the word 'annoying' meant, I had to clear them out of my mind for a new definition was discovered

Militaristic idiocy reared its fat and ugly head for seemingly the ultimate time, when I was brought back to Thailand once again. This time, I had five days of jungle life to contend with. No more shopping bags and mall-scouring. Thanks to some insensitive person(s) and their smart-ass commentary, I will never forget the time I spent over there

Once it was over, physical training returned to haunt me like never before. SOC. Unlike in other units where sanity level of the higher-ups is relatively decent, my unit believes in doing things their own special way. Intensity of PT increased as time left till ORD decreased. Cool, huh ?

But it was also during this 52 weeks of conscription that I encountered a whole, diverse range of characters. Ranging from individuals with incredible imagination(to be pained where pain isn't found) to those with an innate ability to contort words like a trapeze artist

January of this year introduced the awesomest person I've ever come across in my life. KND. The dude is a true legend. A whole franchise can be born of that guy. Entering my unit, company and platoon as a junior officer with Sword-of-Honour in hand and lots of crazed ideals in mind, KND Legend gave a whole new meaning to what we previously knew as 'putting in our best effort'. Words alone can't describe how f**king awesome he is, and even if I were to use pictures in lieu of thousand words, I would have to make a mini art gallery just to summarize him

KND... You are good ah !

My people

2010-12-16T19:13:00.001+08:00

Finally shaping my future the way I want it to be

Hunter

2010-11-27T21:55:00.002+08:00

Those of you who play the video game L4D and its successor L4D2 will know what a 'hunter' is. My idea of a typical 'hunter' in life is similar, just that the target to pounce on is not a human being, but an opportunity of sorts

Embodying a spirit to participate in events or perform certain actions solely for the sake of gaining recognition, a hunter seeks the glory associated with the aforementioned, in his pursuit of greater things... Students going for overseas "mission" trips or doing meaningless community work or joining inflated ego-boosting activities of like ilk, all for the sake of that damned certificate for inclusion in university applications or CV's and what not

Testimonial hunter, certificate hunter, glory hunter

Zaire

2010-11-17T23:26:00.002+08:00

Hypocrites
Backstabbers

These are the two most loathed personality types. Personally, I think most people are hypocritical in one way or another. They don't have to be handing out advice to others and then practising the opposite of what they preach, in order to be a hypocrite. Hell, to me 99% of people who draw up 'new year resolutions' are hypocrites in their own right

Backstabbers. It's kind of hard not to understand why backstabbers are amongst - if not the most - hated type of character in the world. Gain one's trust, then betray him while he is still celebrating that very mutual trust. Pure evil

More than hypocrites but probably less than backstabbers, I hate naive persons as well as ignorant ones. Sometimes, it can't be helped that some people grow up to be naive because of their sheltered upbringing and innocent personality, but surely they should develop a grasp of reality and its associated harshness eventually. Unfortunately not in many cases

To me, ignorance can only be deliberate. Whether or not it is blissful, I really don't care. Ignoramus will only learn their bitter lesson when it hits them hard. Oh well

I don't know why I am typing all this gibberish. Pardon me

Downfall of a Legend

2010-11-12T01:21:00.003+08:00

After an anonymous display in the previous match that saw him replaced at half-time, the last thing RV8 wanted was a repeat of the poor form that has plagued him of late

The enigmatic midfield maestro must have dreaded the sense of deja vu when the cup final kicked off, losing the ball with his first few touches. Clearly distracted by recent off-the-field issues, RV8 simply crumbled under pressure. Looking flustered, the lanky dribbler constantly struggled to keep the ball under control, much to the annoyance of the crowd and his teammates

Cruising 3-0 with RV8 virtually a passenger, the team lost all their momentum and fluency when they first conceded. Two quickfire goals followed, the equalizing goal being catalyzed when RV8 lost possession in midfield. The game was dragged into penalty shootout, but not before RV8 was substituted. They lost the shootout

The blunder couldn't have come at a worse time for RV8, who openly admitted to a lack of confidence in the new coach and management staff. To add injury to insult, he was heckled throughout the match by the away fans(including many supporters of his former team who were in attendance) and eventually by his own supporters, especially after the lead was slashed to a single goal late in the game

The coach's decision to take him off didn't sit well with RV8, who looked visibly distraught when coming off for his relatively-unknown replacement. A hammer blow has been dealt to RV8, and it seems like a promising career is now on the wane, too fast to be true

Rumours have it that RV8 will not feature in the coach's plans for the coming season, and coupled with the coach's preference to play him on the wing instead of his natural central midfield position, the signs are looking grim for RV8

Y

2010-10-31T01:54:00.003+08:00

I can feel freedom calling my name out loud, though I always find myself waking up to the reality that this very freedom is 103 days away. From now till then, there's still lots of crap to wade through, but yours truly is determined to see it through with minimal reduction of free time

75 weekdays (15 weeks)
- 06 leave
- 05 public holiday
- 06.5 off
= 57.5 days spent in camp

Xanadu

2010-10-17T19:49:00.002+08:00

you've got to ask yourself a question, "do I feel lucky ?"

well, do you, punk ?

Wisconsin

2010-10-08T22:18:00.001+08:00

what's with the heavy media-centric assault on the ACS family of late ? damn

vietiane

2010-09-20T23:12:00.004+08:00

bit of a blur, but pictorial evidence of my masterpiece has arrived. chew on it

unassembled head/cockpit

assembled

attached to hull

pilot in, ready to rumble

move aside, boy

uzbekistan

2010-09-19T12:57:00.005+08:00

after over 3 hours of work yesterday, the walker finally stands tall. four legs good, two legs bad. hell yeah

this morning, I added the armour plates. tomorrow, I'll bring everything to a head

techie making final inspections of the AT-AT before armour plating

chief commander briefing his executive officers

side view

frontal view

rear view

top-down view

captured T-80 tank to be used as target practice. enemy crew locked inside alive, for research purposes

turkmenistan

2010-09-17T18:03:00.003+08:00

after much frustration and finger-twiddling, sorting by colour has been completed. the minifigures and side attraction(some gun turret of sorts) are done up and eagerly anticipating the construction of their ride. I promise to pimp their ride.. tomorrow

here's two photos of unrelated collections in my possession, as well as one of the aforementioned gun turret

bunch of Rebel troopers in different attire, plus a random dude each from the Rock Raider and Indiana Jones collections

all the key characters in the Star Wars film saga

unknown, unnamed, uncaring Rebel taking a break from manning the gun turret

srebrenica

2010-09-16T23:43:00.004+08:00

once again, it is Lego time !

back from Thailand with a vengeance and five-day break ahead, I finally decided to dig in and build up 8129 AT-AT Walker

started off by opening the box, pouring out its content then sorting the 815 pieces by colour. I haven't exactly sorted every piece yet, but it will be done in due time... Meanwhile, enjoy the miserly photos I took of the mess

"sorted" pieces - dark and light grey on the tray, and other colours inside the plastic bags on the right

the two instruction manuals. I really appreciate how detailed and foolhardy the instructions are

the packaged pieces in their original state

front of the box

if there's anything completed so far, its the minifigures. Han Solo and C3PO, going with the flow, yo

rhodesia

2010-08-30T17:45:00.002+08:00

I've lost almost all my motivation to write or blog. My brain is rusting and my mind is stagnating

The next 16 days of my life will be a blur, I reckon, as I head up north to Thailand for a military training exercise. 16 consecutive days of utter suffering, without my family, without my friends, without my computer, without my music, without BIAB. oh what to do, what to do, what to do ...

queensland

2010-08-10T20:57:00.001+08:00

All your dreams are made
When you are chained to the mirror and the razor blade
Today's the day that all the world will see
Another sunny afternoon
Walking to the sound of my favourite tune
Tomorrow never knows what it doesn't know too soon

awesomeness exemplified. what's the story, morning glory !

prussia

2010-08-01T21:03:00.002+08:00

why do people do the things they do, for the sake of making the big picture a beautiful one ?

what makes the aid worker want to be the pair of helping hands getting dirty on the ground ?

what draws a doctor to work in a government hospital, when private establishments with promises of higher salary and better working conditions await him out there ?

what drives the defensive midfielder to chase every ball for his team, knowing he ends up getting more jeers than cheers, and earns more yellow cards than goals?

I constantly feel the need to do things that bear positive influences I may not directly benefit from. Something meaningful and out of the ordinary. Well, in my view, that is..

ossetia

2010-07-10T17:10:00.003+08:00

watched 'Shanghai' this week, starring John Cusack, Gong Li, Chow Yun-Fatt and Ken Watanabe

while the settings and plotline were hard to find fault with, the acting was dour and the dialogue cringe-worthy, much thanks to the awkwardness of English lines delivered by the three Asian actors. as though having the two Chinese conversing with each other in English was not enough torment for my ears to endure, Watanabe had to speak Mandarin !

the plot is not tedious, but there seemed to be little direction for most of the film. only at the end was the main character's motive made clear, and even then, it had little cinematic impact

the ending was abrupt and bizarre, and I was left wondering 'huh, so that's it ?' when the theatre lights came on

neverland

2010-07-04T23:41:00.002+08:00

over the past three weeks, I've been involved in rehearsal after rehearsal after rehearsal for the SAF day parade, which was held on thursday evening. each rehearsal day began with me waking up around 5.15am, and returning to bunk just before 7pm. I definitely prefer parade rehearsals to outfields, but nevertheless they were still considerably draining

under the searing hot sun, as we repeatedly went through the paces and processes of the parade sequence, participants were collapsing all around the parade square like communist statues felled by angry citizens. the parade commander had the cheek to indirectly chide those heat-exhausted individuals during his post-rehearsal reviews. we may be in the army, but we aren't machines you know. pffffft

the full parade sequence lasted well over 70 minutes, and even when it was "truncated", it was still about 40 minutes long. usually, we had two runs of each sequence on each rehearsal day. all this while wearing smart 4 and the newest military vest - the vest is so terribly thick and non-porous

to top it off, we ate KFC for lunch everyday without fail. on thursday, we had a larger-than-usual KFC meal for lunch, and dinner was Pizza Hut. thanks to the excellent choice of catering, I now have a swollen throat

Monrovia

2010-06-27T19:13:00.001+08:00

...

Liberia

2010-06-12T20:39:00.002+08:00

more often than not, we deal with people based on our general perception of them, without even considering the matter at hand. if we dislike certain people, we tend to throw minimalistic, disdain-stained responses their way immediately when they approach us, and anticipate nothing good to come of their actions

this fatal human flaw ends up with people being treated the way they are, not because of what they do or have done, but rather(sad to say) because of who they are. Indeed, simply because of who they are

we may not know someone well yet still think badly of the person, simply because of negative buzz around that person. as much as possible, we should stop to think about our interactions with that person, and cut out third-party influence in our percepting process

how much do you really know about person X or Y ? X may seem lazier than Y, but that is because people around them tell you so. stop and think : have you personally seen X do less than Y ? think more with your brain, less with your heart

Korea DPR

2010-06-12T00:48:00.003+08:00

for the heck of it, I decided to ask a friend(whom I shall hereby name 'B'), who doesn't follow football at all, to predict which teams will progress from the group stage of the 2010 World Cup

the only football education I prodded B with was that the opening match ended 1-1. Not that it will influence his choices in any way, I believe, considering he doesn't even know which two teams opened the tournament... Oh, and I also dropped a hint that North Korea isn't a smart choice. Now I really hope that didn't influence his choices at all !

Group A : South Africa, Mexico
B : South Korea, Argentina
C : England, Algeria
D : Germany, Australia
E : Japan, Denmark
F : Italy, Slovakia
G : Brazil, Portugal
H : Spain, Honduras

now here's my own set of predictions

A : South Africa, Mexico
B : Argentina, Nigeria
C : England, Slovenia
D : Germany, Serbia
E : Denmark, Holland
F : Italy, Slovakia
G : Brazil, Portugal
H : Spain, Switzerland

jacksonville

2010-06-04T20:57:00.000+08:00

sometimes, I just don't know what is going through my mind. I really need a month away from the rest of the world, to myself, to reboot my system. I am getting frustrated and annoyed for no apparent reasons recently, and it is messing up my life

ingushetia

2010-05-23T20:30:00.002+08:00

outfields, mosquitoes and boots are really killing my skin. 16 more weeks, come on ...

hamburg

2010-05-20T18:40:00.002+08:00

saw both instalments of French action flick District 13 over the past week. the sequel before the first one. great stuff

watched the first one without any subtitles. funny thing is, I could actually follow the plot from start to end

also caught The Losers, which I felt was pretty entertaining, albeit cliche. maybe I've watched too many movies for my own good, but I could smell pungent 'deja vu' lingering. it was oh so similar to the movie SWAT

267 :)

georgia

2010-05-10T17:07:00.002+08:00

Iron Man 2 disappointed me

Didn't expect much after seeing the trailer and reading promotional materials, but it still fell short of my expectations. At times, I felt like dozing off(probably the effects of guard duty) because it was just so dour. The first half of the movie was a complete bore, more of a drama-comedy filled with smart-alec dialogue. The coup-de-grace was the terribly-short climatic fight

Ip Man 2 fared slightly better

The storyline was practically ripped out of the first movie, with Japanese antagonists swapped out for British ones, to reflect the change in settings. Nonetheless, it was still enjoyable as the fights were top-notch

frankfurt

2010-04-30T23:29:00.002+08:00

This week was spent in seletar camp, where the bunks are dusty and the facilities rusty. Can't believe I survived a whole week in there without any washing machine, shower curtains(let alone doors) or nights' outs. Not to mention, having just two tiny ceiling fans serving fifteen angsty young men crammed into a space 1.5 times the size of my room at home, which isn't anywhere near "big" to begin with

We are learning to construct simple toilets complete with roofing, ventilation, lighting, underground piping system and other jingle jangles

The weather has been extreme, with thunderstorms disrupting our construction engineer course training at will, and when God's wheel of fortune hits the "burn 'em" pie segment, the sun just melts our skin away. Thank goodness we carry out our work in just clean fatigues, working boots and and a white plastic helmet

Lessons have been interesting, but as usual lectures are dry and sometimes beyond understanding, while practicals tend to be confusing(thanks to miscommunication and inept planning) and the sun doesn't make things any better

Some instructors like to push their weight around. Nothing surprising or challenging, considering what I've been through for the past year. What's new...

eunos

2010-04-24T18:27:00.002+08:00

Hamid Altintop
Danny Higginbotham

Matthew Upson
Stewart Downing

Edgar Davids
David Edgar

denmark

2010-04-23T22:11:00.001+08:00

Michailov
Finnan Ben-Haim Rocha Belhadj
Prince-Boateng Candreva Busquets O'Hara
Vela Mata

awesome team

chechnya

2010-04-18T19:30:00.002+08:00

had parade rehearsals the whole week at Nee Soon camp. we were supposed to have had an off day on thursday, meaning we book out on wednesday night and back in on thursday night. thanks to a colonel being down with flu, our whole schedule was screwed over. we had no meals indented for us the whole of thursday since meals cannot be arranged on such short notice. what to do ? they forced us to buy our own meals at the canteens/messhalls, then chased us out of camp slightly after noontime, to have our meals outside. an extended night's out of sorts

this weekend didn't turn out half as mundane as I expected it to be. didn't go out for the past two weekends, due to guard duty and plain laziness respectively

caught Clash of the Titans at PS on Friday night with Dean, Jem and Billy. it was pathetic. reached home at 2am, slept at 3am, and woke up at 4pm on saturday, wth. attended a wedding dinner of a long-lost cousin later that day. if I recall correctly, I last saw the dude when I was in kindergarten. wow

today I went down to Serene Centre to check out Blessings in a Bag, a charity organization in the mould of the Salvation Army, but focused on helping underpriviledged overseas. sorting of donated items - saikang for charity, but I kinda enjoyed it. will go back again whenever I can

berlin

2010-04-10T11:37:00.001+08:00

Mega Bloks is pathetic. Can't compete with the quality of Lego at all

abkhazia

2010-04-08T15:51:00.002+08:00

When people start complaining of a lack of freedom of speech, it is a good sign of economic progress. Only when stomachs are full and heads have sturdy shelters over them, does clamouring for improvement in something that does not directly threaten survival begin

When a country's economic development goes into full swing, some inevitable issues will spring up. The proliferation of foreign workers(not always "talent"), widening income-gap and social ills associated with those two issues

When the only realistic avenue to voice dissent against the ruling government is the internet, something clearly is wrong with the government in question

part time

2010-04-04T20:49:00.000+08:00

thanks to coy cohesion, Good Friday and off-in-lieu

for the past three weeks, I spent four days in camp each
this week, three not including weekend guard duty
this coming week, it will be just two, with Friday being a morning-in afternoon-out sort of day
=>17 days out of a possible 25

if only weekday life was like this all the way until Feb 11 2011...

meaning

2010-04-02T18:13:00.003+08:00

My PC may be an NSF and 1990 child just like me and most of the platoon he commands, but I have to say he is special in that he possesses a very firm disposition and a highly-positive yet mature attitude. He knows full well what he wants in life, and isn't afraid to voice and enforce his opinion, despite being in the knowledge of flak and criticism that awaits him

He may be a junior officer while we are mere troopers, and hails from a school widely perceived to be the best in the country, but like he always points out, we go through the same shit for almost 2 years. We can never understand how he maintains his "make the most of it" mindset all this while. Even during rest periods, he wears his battle gear with the thought of unbuckling(let alone removing) anything not coming anywhere close to his mind. This even though he does occasionally admit disillusionment and frustration with the army and its practices

Honestly speaking, I have never had that attitude for even a split-second ever since I enlisted. I associate such fervour with military recruitment posters. To me, all soldiers should be like American G.I. portrayed in Vietnam War movies; standing on one leg with cigarette between lips, buckles of helmet and vest swinging freely around, arm holding M16 backwards rested on shoulder

You may think he is simply an overenthusiastic young man rushing into everything with the eager zeal of a young substitute coming off the bench, but no, he isn't ! That's the interesting part. He channels this energy into making himself satisfied(probably happy too) and also in the hope that this energy diffuses downwards to us, making ourselves satisfied as well

In terms of long-term life, he has strong-willed ambitions, and obviously the drive(and credentials) to achieve what he has set out for himself. On this point, I hope I can eventually be just like that, because it would certainly give meaning to my life

I cannot and will never find meaning in what I am doing right now on weekdays, but I want to use it as a way to improve myself

World Citizen

2010-03-29T14:44:00.001+08:00

There goes one baby's life
It's such a small amount
She's un-American
I guess it doesn't count

Six thousand children's lives
Were simply thrown away
Lost without medicine
Inside of thirty days

In the New York harbour
Where the stock's withheld
It was the price we paid
For a safer world

World is suffering
World is suffering
World is suffering
World citizen

In Madhya Pradesh
Where they're building dams
They're displacing native people
From their homes and lands

So they hunger strike
Cos they believe they count
To lose a single life
Is such a small amount

In the name of progress
And democracy
The concepts represented in name only

His world is suffering
Her world is suffering
Their world is suffering
World citizen

World citizen

And the buildings fall
In a cloud of dust
And we ask ourselves
How could they hate us?
Well, when we live in ignorance and luxury
While our super powers practice
Puppet mastery

We raise the men
Who run the fascist states
And we sell them arms
So they maintain their place

We turn our backs
On the things they done
Their human rights record
And the guns they run

His world is suffering
Her world is suffering
Their world is suffering
World citizen

My world is suffering
Your world is suffering
Our world is suffering
World citizen

Who'll do away with flags?
Who'll do us proud?
Remove the money from their pockets
Scream dissent out loud?

Cos god ain't on our side
The shoe won't fit
And though they think the war is won
That's not the last of it

Disenfranchised people
Need their voices heard
And if no one stops to listen
Lose their faith in words

And violence rises
When all hope is lost
Who'll embrace the human spirit
And absorb the cost?

Not one life is taken
In my name
In my name

good day !

2010-03-28T16:11:00.002+08:00

Yesterday, I had one of the awesomest days of my life. Despite having to wake up at the ridiculously insane time(given it is the weekend) of 6.30am, having slept just hours before, I was enthusiastic in anticipation of the KDF amazing race I had so looked forward to ever since I knew of it

Went all over the Khatib neighbourhood, where Zixin, Amirah, Wei Qin, Congrui and myself made fools of ourselves nine times over, but it was all in the name of fun. Not to mention, charity too. It was great catching up with Zixin and Amirah after like what, 1 and 3 years respectively ?

Following that, I went to ACJC's Fun-O-Rama, but personally found it a disappointment. I didn't feel the vibe and energy I was hoping to experience. The only mild blemish on a bright day

Returned home to wash up then quickly went out again, this time to town. SMU, hahaha. Lynn had recently contacted me to ask whether I was interested in going for her CCA's Earth Hour event. Not forgetting that one of my new year resolutions is to say 'Yes' to invites as much as possible, I did what was appropriate

Did a significant deal of catching up with Lynn, met some new faces(albeit in much darkness) and celebrated her friend Victor's birthday. The celebration was very simple, but I found so much meaning and heart in it. At the end of it all, a few of us toured the SMU campus. Man, it was cool

booking in

2010-03-22T21:57:00.002+08:00

**Formal writing ahead, beware**

I feel so shitty today. Even though I am now at home rather than in camp, spent most of the day wearing a singlet and shorts rather than long 4, and even popped by my old school for a while, I still feel like I am on death row

Don't get me wrong, it is not that I prefer being in camp. No way in hell. Rather, it is because I know I am going back to camp later ! They should come up with a diagnosis for this, maybe even call it the Booking In Syndrome. Hell, there should be a five-day ATT C status accompanying the diagnosis. The only known treatment is ORD. Hahaha, whatever

This is the last and fourth day of my extended weekend, which I spent two days of 'off' to acquire. Went out twice, watched a grand total of five movies(1 in theatres, 4 at home), got a kick out of mocking Lucas Leiva's anti-aircraft crosses during the United-Liverpool match and Kanu scored again

apocalypse now

2010-03-20T21:16:00.003+08:00

what's with all the apocalyptic-world movies of late ?

first there was 2012 where we see calamity on a global scale

then came The Road with its tale of humanity in a post-apocalyptic world

now there's The Book of Eli with its religious undertone amidst a post-apocalyptic world

I have learnt several things about post-apocalypse from the latter two films :

humans become smelly and unhygienic
cannibalism will be rife
the surviving population will be greying
gangs will proliferate
derelict vehicles will be everywhere

night's out

2010-03-17T20:54:00.002+08:00

for the first time, I am spending a weekday night's out in the comfort of home, sitting on my throne hammering away at the alphabets that lay before me. booked out around 5.45pm, and reached home minutes before 7. slightly over 3 hours to do what I want to do, before I head back to rest my mind ahead of tomorrow's SOC

this SOC will be my fourth one in the space of two weeks, and is likely the third-last one before my first-year "window" closes in the middle of next month. last thursday's was supposed the last one for a long while, but as always, there will be a "last one" until you pass the test or ORD

failure in SOC has been annoying me a great deal recently, because the thought of having to go for it week after week lingers on like a vengeful spirit. the ordeal lasts about 10 minutes(may be longer depending on the individual), but the waiting, preparation, waiting, travelling and waiting time stretches it to about 2 hours

given my most recent timing and tryout, I know I can pass if I give my best, but somehow I just lack motivation, and hence the drive to do just that. the idea of disincentives work for me, the way it did for IPPT when I had to keep going through it until I got a Silver. hopefully it works tomorrow morning, albeit with me in a different attire altogether

Mrs. Rita

2010-03-14T15:52:00.004+08:00

shut myself in this weekend because I just felt like doing so. wasn't in the mood to plan any gatherings. hell, I even staunchly refused to go out for dinner with my parents despite them asking like a million times, and instead asked them to get takeaway for me while they were out

quickly losing interest in everything, and right now my mentality is 'go through the motions of life'. most probably due to weekday life, and in particular recent happenings that have upset me more than they should have. it has got to do with people, and how they deal with each other

fact is, I actually have almost no bearing on the matter at hand. it shouldn't be concerning me at all, but it is just saddening despite my attempt to be neutral, and damn frustrating given the long road ahead

my future is clouded with omnipresent mist, and the meteorologist in me predicts that the skies will not clear until at least two months later. I don't know where I will be in 11 months' time, though I have some sort of idea what I will be doing

3 Lego sets I had so desired

now sit in the cupboard

for a month have they retired

same state since being ordered

mint in condition

owner not the least bothered

a deep depression lingers

dazed and confused

as I twiddle my fingers

predictions

2010-03-13T16:12:00.002+08:00

just for the fun of it

Tottenham H. 3 - 0 Blackburn R.

Birmingham C. 1 - 1 Everton

Bolton W. 1 - 1 Wigan Athletic

Burnley 1 - 1 Wolverhampton W.

Chelsea 2 - 0 West Ham U.

Stoke C. 1 - 2 Aston Villa

Hull C. 1 - 3 Arsenal

the BBC

2010-03-06T21:09:00.002+08:00

1302: Jamie O'Hara plays in Frederic Piquionne on the right and the Frenchman leathers a low ball in - but it twangs off a defender and away to safety. It's been that sort of... and you know where I'm going with that.

1301: Promising move by Birmingham - but Lee Bowyer's pass asks far too much of Barry Ferguson. Bowyer might have been better off having a shot himself. It's been that sort of game so far. Wait, have I said that already?

1258: John Utaka gets away from two in midfield and lays the ball off to Danny Webber, who promptly slips as he tries to jink past a defender. It's been that sort of game so far.

the above is from BBC's live coverage and commentary of a football match. this is why I so love the BBC. they are simply too stylish and witty

Regina Spektor

2010-03-05T22:08:00.000+08:00

good music !

Umbrella Murder

2010-02-28T21:56:00.001+08:00

Agents of the Bulgarian secret police, Darzhavna Sigurnost (Bulgarian: Държавна сигурност, abbreviated ДС), assisted by the KGB had previously made two failed attempts to kill Markov before a third attempt succeeded. On 7 September 1978 (the birthday of Todor Zhivkov), Markov walked across Waterloo Bridge spanning the River Thames, and was waiting at a bus stop on the other side, when he was jabbed in the calf by a man holding an umbrella. The man apologized and walked away. Markov would later tell doctors that the man had spoken with a foreign accent. The event is recalled as the "Umbrella Murder" with the assassin claimed to be Francesco Gullino, codenamed "Piccadilly".

Markov recalled feeling a stinging pain from where he had been hit, he assumed by the umbrella tip. When he arrived at work at the BBC World Service offices he noticed a small red pimple had formed and the pain from being jabbed had not stopped. He told at least one of his colleagues at the BBC about this incident. That evening he developed a fever and was admitted to a hospital where he died three days later, on 11 September 1978, at the age of 49. The cause of death was poisoning from a ricin-filled pellet.

Ebay

2010-02-27T22:42:00.002+08:00

Ebay is a great tool. In the past week, I've sold two books on it at no fee to myself, and am gonna continue using it in my attempt to rid my cupboard of junk

350

2010-02-26T19:18:00.002+08:00

this week was terrible. although I now get to book in at 11pm every sunday, weekday life ain't getting any better despite us having "turned ops". had ICCT for four straight days - interesting and fun, but draggy at times

stores. stores. stores
stand-by beds with rubber timing. stretch. stretch. stretch
never slept before 11.30pm every night
1.5km run in boots and pants every morning, supposedly as SOC training
commanders' stress level ran high. tensions were at breaking point. tekan ensued. oh the horror

DG

2010-02-18T13:17:00.002+08:00

booked in on tuesday night, just to perform a 24-hour guard duty(day guard, DG) that started yesterday morning, before booking out this morning

17/02/10, wednesday
5.20am : woke up later than usual, had to rush down without brushing teeth. eat breakfast, brush teeth, change up and prepare for DG

8-8.30am : DG started. settled paperwork at guardhouse

8.30-3pm : sleeeeeeeeeep

3-4.25pm : sentry, yaaaaaaawn

4.25-9pm : desk

9-11pm : rest, punctuated by last parade

11-1am : prowling

1-5am : sleeeeeeeeeep

5-6.25am : sentry once again

6.25-7.50am : vehicle checker, then just waiting around for the next bunch of poor fools to take over

in a world

2010-02-15T23:30:00.004+08:00

Sometimes, I have to admit having weird taste in movies and music. Weird in the sense that I am seemingly stuck in a generation preceding my own, and my age mates do not share my preferences. Ten fingers aren't enough to count the number of times I've been (directly or indirectly) "advised" to update myself, but sorry to say, Boys Like Girls and Scary Movie are simply not my cup of tea. Just doesn't suit my weird taste, man

How many 19-year olds do you know that have seen all the movie instalments of Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Lord of the Rings, The Godfather, Dirty Harry and Beverly Hills Cop ? The first three(all of which are franchises) are staples of a nerdy moviegoer, but the latter three clearly define the oddness

Dare I say, weird hobbies and pasttimes are my thang too, yo. Building-block toys are something I will never grow out of, and my collection is healthy and growing even as I speak. Mostly Lego, a bit of Mega Bloks and the odd China imitations here and there. Also featuring heavily on my shelves are model kits I assemble and paint

The kind of team sportsmen that impresses me most, would be the sort using their brain more than the rest of the body. Take Juan Carlos Valerón of Deportivo La Coruna for example. His body matches his 35 years of age, but he makes up for his jaw-dropping lack of pace and match fitness by threading laser passes all over the field. His ponderous style annoys most viewers, but brings great satisfaction to those who quietly anticipate his clever passes

If the player has selflessness to boot, then he probably has a place in my dream team XI

Toad the Wet Sprocket

2010-02-12T21:11:00.002+08:00

yet another great band whose music got better with time, and peaked in the mid 1990's

their 1997 album Coil is now one of my all-time favourites

pok pok pok

2010-02-06T00:29:00.002+08:00

today I ate all three meals in camp, and didn't have any rice at all. strange but true

takes getting used to

2010-01-31T17:22:00.003+08:00

finally gotten used to the smaller keyboard of this netbook. Now I just have to endure the slowness and inability of the processor to multi-task. Seems like I am never satisfied, and don't know how to appreciate what I have. Not that I can do anything about it right now though, considering a Sony technician is probably munching on his Mega McSpicy while looking through my iTunes library as I type this out

feeling extremely relaxed though it is late Sunday afternoon, because I am safe in the knowledge that I still have the rest of the day to myself ! booking in tomorrow afternoon. booked out on thursday evening. if only every week was like this

nothing better to do now other than to watch Mobile Suit Gundam on Youtube. bought a Gundam model kit last weekend and have built it up. paint job is 70% there. need red and yellow paint...

moi life

2010-01-30T23:33:00.002+08:00

I wanted to do an entry describing my daily weekday life part by part, but decided not to anymore. I am gettingpissed off becuse yhid damn netbook is so hard to type on, likewth msn, having to go back and make correctiond every second, unless i type one letter per second. geez. i also forgot what i even fdid in the week

hopefully my laptop comes back from repair by friday, grrrrr

how soon is now

2010-01-24T19:03:00.002+08:00

application rejected outright again, barely a week after I mailed it out. wth man, the deadline is like over two months away !

whatever is the case, I have decided to tread the pragmatic path, and follow through on what I have already chosen for myself, on the reliable side. the more I think about it, the more I feel that going overseas isn't so great a choice as before. overseas experience is one thing, but the thing is, how fantastic is it ?

to someone like me who already has a rather open mindset and a (dare I say it) firm grasp of reality, I now believe that it isn't worth splurging nearly 150k on getting a similar piece of paper from a different source

the only significant draw left is the "saving" of roughly a year in lull/study time

shit happens

2010-01-15T23:08:00.002+08:00

weird stuff is happening on weekdays

-first, shit appeared in a shower cubicle on my bunk level
-second, the officers got mathematical with us, plotting graphs and all
-next, I watched a romcom and enjoyed it
-finally, I was given homework for the weekend, and it includes self-reflection, writing, philosophy

goodness

KDF Amazing Race 2010

2010-01-08T20:50:00.000+08:00

new year re-solutions

2010-01-04T18:18:00.002+08:00

this year, I aim to set things straight in my life. ever since I left school, started working and then enlisted into the army, I've been steadily losing touch with my original being. here goes...

1) the ability to code-switch is a priceless one when it comes to functioning effectively in society. however, when utilized in the long-term, just like the most seemingly harmless drugs, there will be damnable side-effects as well. when it comes to the english language, my coding frequency has been altered such that it is now not what I would like it to be. I need to get in there and rev up the tuning button, in preparation for February 11 2011

2) I've been too respectful and obliging to superiors in the past 9 months. this is not good. in fact, it sucks man. I need to recover my bad-azz-ness, yo

3) moolah. monaey, monaey, monaeyyyyyyyyyy. $$$. cha-chingggggg. mmmmmmmmm. I aim to squeeze every cent I can out of the SAF

4) whenever i receive an invite to anything, there shall be only one answer coming out of my mouth : 'YES'

"Hey I am WXYZ, your classmate from kindergarten. Wanna meet up?"

"Hi let's go see this new romance movie, 50 Hot Dates ?"

"Yo man, it's ABC, I know you through EFG, shall we go fishing tomorrow morning ?"

YES to everything and anything

2010

2010-01-03T14:49:00.001+08:00

fresh new year ahead, and I am looking forward to the months of February, March, April and June !

overseas

2009-12-28T18:55:00.000+08:00

flying off to Bangkok in 36 hours' time. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

sick of myself

2009-12-28T01:47:00.000+08:00

You don't know how you move me
Deconstruct me
And consume me
I'm all used up
I'm out of luck
I am starstuck
By something in your eyes
That is keeping my hope alive

But I'm sick of myself when I look at you
Something is beautiful and true
In a world that's ugly and a lie
It's hard to even want to try
And I'm beginning to think
Baby, you don't know

I'll take or leave
The room to breathe
The choice to leave you
I'll throw away
A chance at greatness
Just to make this
Dream come into play
I don't know if I'll find a way

'Cause I'm sick of myself when I look at you
Something is beautiful and true
In a world that's ugly and a lie
It's hard to even want to try
And I'm beginning to think
Baby, you don't know
I'm beginning to think
Baby, you don't know

There's something in your eyes
That is keeping my hope alive

Sick of myself when I look at you
Something is beautiful and true
In a world that's ugly and a lie
It's hard to even want to try
And I'm beginning to think
Baby, you don't know

I'm beginning to think
Baby, you don't know

Christmas

2009-12-26T01:33:00.000+08:00

today I celebrated Christmas the same way I've done for most of my life - ate out with the family. minus the sister this time though. at this restaurant called The Ship. in Shaw Centre. that shopping centre is deader than a pit of dinosaur remains

my parents unravelled something - earlier this year, something seemingly minor had a rather major impact on my future, or to be more precise, on how I view my future. no, it has nothing to do with sexuality or relationships

I've been told that I am an talented craftsman when it comes to wordplay. while typing out this blog entry, I took a closer look at a Messenger conversation window I had opened -
ziwei says:
is he the sort who says he will go, then on the day itself he is permanently "on the way", until he suddenly cannot make it ?

ziwei says:
ok so he isn't a pangseh-er la, just a dude with a slow clock

Green Day

2009-12-24T23:46:00.001+08:00

even over the course of 17 years, their music still sounds the same

My Friends

2009-12-19T16:27:00.002+08:00

My friends are so depressed
I feel the question
Of your loneliness
Confide..., 'cause I'll be on your side
You know I will, you know I will

X Girlfriend called me up
Alone and desperate
On the prison phone
They want... to give her 7 years
For being sad

I love all of you
Hurt by the cold
So hard and lonely too
When you don't know yourself

My friends are so distressed
And standing on
The brink of emptiness
No words... I know of to express
This emptiness

I love all of you
Hurt by the cold
So hard and lonely too
When you don't know yourself

Imagine me taught by tragedy
Release is peace
I heard a little girl
And what she said
Was something beautiful
To give... your love
No matter what

I love all of you
Hurt by the cold
So hard and lonely too
When you don't know yourself

FIFA World Cup 2010

2009-12-12T14:13:00.001+08:00

man, I simply can't wait for next June !

out of time

2009-12-06T15:59:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, I really wish things never change from the way they are, or were. I am so attached to things of the past that I can never ever accept how they have been altered by time, or how they have been replaced by something newer and supposedly better

In the space of half a decade, athletes can go from greatness to nothingness. Back in their heyday, some players were so treasured by their teams that they had incredible buy-out clauses on them, and their coaches would drown in flak(from the media and fans) for merely substituting them off

Fast forward to the present, where those very same players languish on the substitutes' bench, the last ones to be picked to fill the seats. In some cases, they are not even picked at all. When their number is finally flashed in green, they lackadaisally enter the field of play, whiling away the remaining minutes before the final whistle

Crucify

2009-11-29T13:35:00.001+08:00

Every finger in the room
Is pointing at me
I wanna spit in their faces
Then I get afraid of what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach
I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now
I've been looking for a savior in these dirty streets
Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
I've been raising up my hands
Drive another nail in
Just what God needs
One more victim

Why do we
Crucify ourselves
Every day
I crucify myself
Nothing I do is good enough for you
Crucify myself
Every day
And my heart is sick of being in chains

Got a kick for a dog
Beggin' for Love
I gotta have my suffering
So that I can have my cross
I know a cat named Easter
He says will you ever learn
You're just an empty cage girl
If you kill the bird
I've been looking for a savior in these dirty streets
Looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets
I've been raising up my hands
Drive another nail in
Got enough guilt to start
My own religion
Please be
Save me
I cry

Why do we
Crucify ourselves
Every day
I crucify myself
Nothing I do is good enough for you
Crucify myself
Every day
And my heart is sick of being in chains

lifespan

2009-11-26T20:29:00.001+08:00

WHY DOES MY IPOD BATT DIE OUT SO FASTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

pen and paper II

2009-11-20T23:10:00.002+08:00

In the middle of JC1, my class had a change of GP teacher, and damn, she was a furious preacher of staunchly-formulated essay structures. Regardless of how brilliant the content of an essay was, she would fail it for merely not following her prescribed structures

After enduring many failures(literally), I found a way round it by adapting my writing style into the structural frameworks she demanded. Somehow I think it has influenced my style even till today, though I am not sure if for better or for worse

Today, I can only wonder how to further develop my flair for writing. I am stuck in the middle of nowhere, helplessly watching my standard of English get slaughtered before my very eyes everyday. Even 15 months from today, I will probably not be anywhere near becoming a writer of any sort. I have thought of freelance writing, but then again, where do I start ?

Whenever I speak of my desire to produce writings beyond the realm of education, the response would always be along the lines of "What do you want to write ?", and I would generally think in the direction of journalism. Whatever is the case, I cannot forsee how writing will earn me a living I aspire towards

pen and paper

2009-11-14T16:27:00.002+08:00

Ever since Sec 2, I've had strong passion for writing, especially so when limitation of opinion and restrictions on writing style are absent. I myself am not really sure what sparked this 180-degree turn in me, considering I always resented writing of any kind in younger years, but it likely was my English Language teachers who inspired me to take an interest in the ink I was dashing out

I used to churn out run-of-the-mill essays complete with customary idioms and expressions, given the narrow topic range in school. Then came my UK-born EL teacher in Sec 2 who encouraged us to brainstorm and see topics in a different light. Basically, I was interpreting things my way, altering the tune of even the most rigid topics

Slowly, I began enjoying writing, even though it was for homework or class assignments. For the first time, I could merge schoolwork and interest : I remember conjuring up a fictional football match report for a 'news report' class assignment, where WBA beat Chelsea 4-3 with Kanu working his magic ! I chose Chelsea as the loser, because I knew my EL teacher was a Chelsea fan

By the next year, my literary index was on the rise with my next EL teacher clearing out my grammatical faults and frequently highlighting my essays in her weekly praise sessions. However, I took a blunt hit when I failed to reach grade expectations in the year-end exams. It was the same story for my final year of secondary school. Nonetheless, my interest in the art of 'pen and paper' was growing more rapidly than ever

(to be continued)

truth is not kind

2009-11-06T18:40:00.003+08:00

I've been feeling morose and sullen, partly because past promises built on the foundations of very weak trust were expectedly broken

The more I hear, the less I believe. No matter how much I try to think of every such promise as a downright, utter lie, I still cannot help but buy into the paper-thin words woven from thin air, because they give me a glimmer of hope in this bottomless pit I am currently freefalling in

Furthermore, I have witnessed the desperate measures people in positions of marginally-high power undertake in order to save their face, their ass and themselves in general. All at the expense of the miserable souls at their disposal

You(the reader) may not understand what the hell I am talking about above, but then again, neither do I. It's just a smattering of random thoughts sprinting across the vast expanse of my mind

I Only Wanna Be With You

2009-10-31T23:51:00.005+08:00

I must say, the past two weeks have been enjoyable. Last week, after a forgettable 3d2n CFF field camp that culminated in an afternoon of shifting insanely-heavy store items that were mostly unused during the field camp, booked out on thursday night

This week, booked in on monday night and out on thursday night. Had a gruelling section proficiency test(SPT) on tuesday and wednesday, which was supposed to last three days. One of the nine stations was cancelled because the truck-based equipment was unavailable. What a joke...

The schedule compression was due to the unit anniversary celebrations being held in camp on thursday and then at The Chevrons on friday. Nonetheless, I survived the mad rush

Been going out a lot in recent weeks, and accompanied by my new Nano plus a whole shitload of 90's music that I've acquired, life has been great

nineTEEN

2009-10-26T15:28:00.003+08:00

Birthday gifts are an interesting trend. For my first birthday, all I got was cake and a balloon. When I was of schooling age I began to receive toys, especially Lego's, which still stand proudly in my collection today. In recent years, my birthday gifts came in the form of cash(meant for me to "get what I want"), because my parents ran out of ideas as to what to get me

For my latest birthday, there was a reversal in trend, and the gift is something that will come in handy in the near future. MP3 !

Where It's At

2009-10-23T17:44:00.001+08:00

Beck is awesome

You Can Do Magic !

2009-10-18T16:21:00.000+08:00

with or without you

2009-10-16T22:55:00.002+08:00

I am starting to think that my weekday life isn't so bad afterall. I am getting accustomed to the lack of freedom and privacy, as well as complete absence of basic rights and access to entertainment. Perhaps the 7 weeks of "NDP" was pretty good in some sense, because it helped me to adjust to the life in my unit, given the extreme culture shock I received upon entering

One field camp just over. Another coming up

lifeless

2009-10-09T23:30:00.003+08:00

everything around me seems to be dying, and somewhat painlessly at that. nothing positive is happening around me, and nobody around me is feeling positive. many times, I've booked out on Friday with no plan for the weekend, and end up returning to camp on Sunday nights full of regrets for the precious time wasted

my life now revolves around counting down towards key days, and putting up a false front of enthusiasm when I want to avoid getting into trouble for exposing my lack thereof

see no evil, hear no evil

2009-10-04T22:40:00.003+08:00

as each week passes, I feel more and more aimless on the whole, and increasingly clueless about my post-army future. training in camp is going to get very tough in the coming weeks, and I am getting jittery about it

I am intent on studying overseas and have my parents' support(both moral and financial) on this. right now, the plan is already in place. however, the idea of going away from them less than 2 weeks after ORD doesn't sit well with me, because I am already going to spend just 2 days a week with them for the next 16 months or so. not to mention, my sister(who is my only sibling) got married recently and moved out

today, my mum mentioned that there was an article in the papers highlighting that studying in the UK may in fact be cheaper than studying in Australia. I never actually considered studying in the UK, so now I may just do so ...

charm me with confidence

2009-09-28T14:26:00.002+08:00

took one-day ATT C yesterday, because I was unwell; most likely the beginning of a long-drawn war of attrition against flu

it feels weird being at home while possessing the knowledge that your mates are getting themselves(plus their LBVs and field packs) soaking wet in muddy, pissy waters in some shitty place in the middle of nowhere in Singapore

d'you know what I mean

2009-09-21T01:15:00.003+08:00

while fiddling with the programs on my comp, I found internet radio on Windows Media Player 11, and subsequently discovered Big R Radio - 90's alternative. awesome stuff

saw Inglorious Basterds at The Cathay today, and have to say I am slightly disappointed with it. expected better

blanks and dots

2009-09-17T15:58:00.003+08:00

just lost a whole day of my one-week break today, because I slept 14 hours of it away. suppose I wouldn't be going out today, and will just spend the rest of the day at home enjoying my new lappie. can prolly play Dawn of War and the various expansions on full graphic settings now

oh yeah, I was this tired because prior to me sleeping, I had not slept for 43 hours. had 3d2n field camp which was manageable but still exhausting as usual

I guess you're right

2009-09-12T15:59:00.003+08:00

went to Great World for lunch today, and got a new laptop. Dad wants to take over this lappie in 2011 when I get a new one for uni, so we figured that we might as well get an above-average one for now. got a Sony Vaio CS

standing on the shore

2009-09-11T18:27:00.002+08:00

a rather short week in camp ended yesterday, since I'll be booking in tomorrow night. again, it wasn't physically demanding at all. in fact, it was mentally torturous as I had to fight hard to stay awake all the time

today I went with Wei Qin and Kok Wei to the army market to load up on some supplies for the field camp this week. bugger. after that, we went to the IT fair at Suntec, which once again whet my appetite for electronic delights. I am not a fan of electronic gadgets by far, and I don't game at all, but I have recently decided on the need to get a new laptop(current one was bought in 2001) and an MP3 player

my parents have long been complaining about the shittiness of my current laptop, and telling me to go find a new one. my initial plan was to get a top-of-the-range one just before I begin uni in 2011, but then, my patience has been tested way too often with this old laptop which pretty much freezes whenever the traffic(?) gets too strong. right now, I intend to get a mini-laptop to tide me through until the time comes for me to get a new, powerful one

too young to die

2009-09-04T21:46:00.002+08:00

the feeling of booking out is just surreal. I realize that whenever I am busy, time really flies past like nobody's business. my first training phase is already more than halfway over, and this week was really enjoyable for some unknown reason